October 4, 2005

Telephone Sales

"Hello, is that Mr. Turner?" she asked me very politely.

"No, sorry, he hasn't lived here for a while." I responded, thinking it was a friend of his.

"Well Mr. Turner, if you'll just give me a moment, I'd like to tell you about the kitchens that we're installing in your area. If you'll just let me tell you ab"

I interrupted her while she is saying "about", "I'm sorry, I'm not inter" the word interested was met with a loud clicking sound.

This lady had reflexes better than a Wild West cowboy. I wondered if she had a foot pedel to cut off the line. I felt a little irritated. I don't like it when people call me up, don't listen to me and then hang up on me.

Later in the day, I got a call from a new breed of sales person. They use a technique based on confusion.

"Hello sir, I've got summing a sew yous.", he said.

"Excuse me?", I queried.

He continued, "You like kishins n' barfrooms"

"Did you say something about kitchens?" I was really confused.

"Is all wood, trees and kittens. You like cabiners?"

At this point, I was feeling a little appologetic for not understanding. "Are you trying to sell me something?" I asked, thinking that this was really weird.

It sounded like English, but it made no sense. He continued, "Yeah, my got trees n plummin n cerpets."

"I'm sorry but I really don't understand what you're saying. Could you repeat that one more time?" I was wondering what to do about the situation.

"I's ger plumms n trees wos gone kishins, big kishins." and it just got weirder and weirder.

He was clearly trying to sell me something. I was careful not to say "okay" or "yes", in case he took that to mean that I wanted my house demolished or my children sold into slavery.

"I'm going to have to go now. I'm sorry but I can't understand what you're saying. Okay, bye then." and then I put the phone down. He certainly kept me talking for a long time. I wonder how he gets an order. Perhaps as he starts to draw you in, he gets clearer and clearer. I'll have to try being drawn in by one of these people. On the other hand, I could just talk jiberish in response.