January 13, 2006

Brother Matthew

Matthew is my spiritual brother. He has literally saved my life. He has taken such incredible care of me over the past few months. He supported me in some really hard times and he and his wife, Colette, made me feel a part of their family over Christmas.

He is a healer with many skills and techniques in his repertoire, one of which is ABT (Abuse Based Therapy); this really has to be experienced to be fully appreciated but I will give an example here: we were driving back from a men's retreat and I was saying "I have such a low opinion of myself: I feel that I'm so unlovable." In his British accent he almost shouted at me: "You're so fucking lovable Duncan! You've got to see that." He then went on a rant, driving unending goodness into me through the voice of an internalized abuser.

Matthew is an actor, a great actor. He is also extremely funny; often funnier than me — hard to believe, I know. We were driving up to San Francisco one Saturday because he was auditioning for a film and the whole way we were doing funny voices and shouting and being totally blasphemous; I was being a patient but disillusioned immigrant Indian guru and he was my cockney student who wouldn't shut up with the complaining. I ended up flipping out and having a nervous breakdown, shouting at him. It was so great. I didn't let him start punching the roof of my rental car, like he does in his truck though — he's a wild animal. He got the part in the film, by the way.

He is larger than life; he has a massive spiritual presence. He has big eyes and a massive heart. He and Colette are so very devoted to each other; they truly are Krishna and Radha; they are providing me with a great relationship model.

I love meditating, talking, joking-around with, and just being with him. I am so grateful to have Matthew in my life, he is my true brother and I love him with all my heart.

Update (January 26, 2006): see Matthew in the trailer for The ESP Affair: www.pointreyespictures.com. He plays the husband.