January 18, 2006

Who Am I?

Who am I? I have asked this question again and again, year after year. I have cried and begged to know. This is all I want to know: the answer to this one question. But who cares who I am, when a fireball a million times larger than earth rises to greet me each morning? Why does it matter who I am, when the rock I stand on weighs six sextillion tonnes, and when my brain contains half a quadrillion synapses? Who needs to know who I am, when my brothers and sisters number six billion, and I look out at fifty thousand quintillion stars?

Who is asking this question? There is no one in this chariot; there is no captain on this ship; it sails itself. It has always been this way. There seems to be control, but it is all an illusion; there is no one to control anything. Life simply unfolds as is does, effortlessly, in a space of perfect acceptance.

Oh my sweet one, I feel unbounded joy when I hear these words. Know this: I have created a whole universe in your honor. I have created all the physical laws and set galaxies spinning for you. I have travelled countless lives and manifested myself as unending substances, objects, creatures, and machines, seeking to know the answer to your question. Know this also: you are not awake; you slumber, drifting in and out of sleep; my warm breath on your face; my breasts against your chest. I whisper words of love into your ear as I caress you. I patiently and eagerly await your awakening, as I have done for eons. Then we will make love and new universes will be born.

But now is the time to rest, my sweet one. When your body is ready, it will awaken on its own; there is no rush, there is only us. Enjoy your sleep, enjoy your dream, and keep listening to my sweet voice in your ear: you are on the right path. We are going to have so much fun. And know this also: you will not be fully awake until all of your brothers and sisters are awake, until every molecule of water and every ant knows itself; because you, and they ... and I, are one.