February 25, 2006

Sanctuary

He stands on a mountain top in the Himalaya. Other peaks are in the distance. His body has two halves. On his left side his face is soft and loving; green eyes sparkling; long light-brown hair blowing in the thin air; gentle and delicate; feminine; he feels everything. On his right side he is strong and bold. His body is muscular and powerful, his mind acute; masculine; he thinks deeply and clearly.

Standing behind him is a tall king. His skin is light-blue and he carries a bow around his body. He is very strong, courageous, wise, unconditionally loving, and totally forgiving. I zoom in toward his eyes. Though his whole being radiates light, his eyes seem even more real than any part of him; they are bright blue and seem to be glowing with a reality beyond anything else. The king is Rama and he stands behind Shiva, hugging him.

Pulling back out I see that to their right stands a man wearing a light grey robe and thick leather belt. He has white hair and beard. He is the shortest, his name is Elijah, and he came again as the baptizer known as John.

On their left stands a tall and portly man with long flowing white beard and white hair. He is glowing bright white and his robe is made of silk encrusted with countless diamonds. He is the Christ in form.

And then I rise up and over, bracing against a strong cross-wind, my vision of the group below me lost momentarily in a haze of ice-crystals, before I dive back down and into the crown of Shiva.

I see a field of bubbles and light. The cool water rushes past my sides, caressing me. My gills are wide open and I find myself, feeling fear, being drawn backward by a powerful current. And then I am falling through air and water and I plunge deeply before coming to the surface of a river.

I am inside an enormous limestone cathedral. The river flows from the waterfall, which lands in front of the altar, along a shallow bed, babbling over green slimy rocks, channeled by banks formed from small boulders. The water is clear and fresh. half-way down the river, and in its center, is an island of roots from which grows a tree; I am being carried toward it. It's a massive banyan, twenty-one feet in diameter and hundreds of feet high. The dark-brown trunk is made of thousands of chords clustered together; it reaches up to a thick canopy of deeply evergreen, palm-sized leaves.

As I approach the tree, I feel a deepening love. There is a fullness in my spine that seems to be expanding, and there is a tingling in my lateral line. I look to the bank and see a king with light-blue skin and piercing eyes; he is looking at me.

I see the mouth of a beautiful rainbow trout opening above the surface of the water. And then it flicks its tail and disappears. I walk to the edge and look down, listening to the sweet tune that the river plays. A gentle, warm breeze blows up the sanctuary in the direction of the altar. Sunlight, filtered through the leaves of the tree, diffracts onto the pebbles in the river, casting caustics onto them. The breeze creates a current of light ripples that flows toward the altar. A leaf drops from the tree onto the smoothly flowing surface, sending out a perfect ring of ripples. I watch as the bright rings travel outward on the bottom of the river.

I am standing on flagstones made of uneven limestone. The river is fifty feet wide, the sanctuary six-hundred feet wide and one-thousand feet long. The walls are punched at random locations with tall gothic windows filled with simple lead lights; ivy and other climbing plants grow around them. I look up high and see that there is no roof. The walls climb for hundreds of feet and then peter out at various heights. There are billowing clouds above the sanctuary, lit in warm colors by an early-morning sun.

Above the point where the river enters the sanctuary is a giant open window which frames a large snow-capped mountain; bright clouds gather around its summit. I look back at the tree and see a small, arched bridge stretching from the riverbank to its side. I walk across the bridge and touch the trunk. There is a ledge on the side of the tree and upon it rests a broadsword. I pick up the sword and begin to swing it about my body.

A memory rushes to me. I am young boy; six years old. I am terrified. I stand in front of the dragon in its lair. Smoke wafts from its nose which rests on its claw only a few paces in front of my feet. Sunlight streams into the cave through a small crack above me. I turn and look at the king. He pulls the broadsword from his back and holds it out to me. It's four feet long, as big as me. The blade is six inches wide and of bright steel. The hilt is made of bronze. My eyes widen as he hands it to me. I reach for the sword. I always wanted one of these.

The king turns and calmly leaves the cave. I feel an upwelling in my body; so much anger. I drag the sword with both hands on my right side and lift it behind me. I look over my shoulder and see the blade glint in the sunlight. With tears in my eyes, I yell and bring it down into the dragon's head. Blood spurts from its temple and it begins writhing on the ground as I lift the heavy sword again. I slice and hack, pound and cry, and feel the anger surge through me. I yell and shout, and the sword feels lighter in my hands. I go wild for a time, and then I find a rhythm. I cut its snout and claws and back. And then finally, I drive the sword deep into its heart. And then I collapse in a pool of blood, sweat, and tears.

I look carefully at the sword in my hands. Ancient writing is carved into the blade. In Aramaic, it says, "I came not to send peace, but this sword. With this you will kill the negative parents within you." [1] In Sanskrit is written, "Truth, Compassion, Love, Honor, Dignity, Perseverance, Justice, Courage, Innocence, Wisdom, and Humility". On the other side of the blade is written, again in Aramaic, "Then you will know the truth and this will make you free." [2] And finally in Hebrew, it reads, "And goodness and compassion will be with you for the rest of your life and my kingdom will live within you." [3]

Feeling great love and gratitude, and with tears streaming down my cheeks, I place the sword with reverence back onto the wooden ledge; the inner war has long passed. I then pick up a gold ring that is placed there. On the outside of the ring, in Pali, is written, "Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate." And on the inside is written, "All things arise and pass away. But the awakened awake forever." [4]

As I slip the ring onto the third finger of my right hand I hear a commotion, and turn to see a flock of white doves lifting into the air. I am rising with my companions into the spaciousness of the open cathedral. We fly under the shade of the tree and then above it. I look down and see the ground receding, enjoying the power in my own wings, and the gusts of air from the wings of my flock. We clear the roof and fly out into the world as the sun lifts itself fully above the horizon. A new day has begun.

[1] Matthew 10:34-36
[2] John 8:32
[3] Psalm 23:6
[4] Dhammapada: Choices