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April 11, 2006


I've spent the past three years in intensive psychotherapy (seven hours per week initially), attending twelve-step support groups, and taking part in various inner-child workshops.

During that time I've learned to be aware of what I'm feeling. When someone asks me, "How are you?" I add the word feeling onto the end in my mind: "How are you feeling?" And then I respond.

Today someone asked me and I responded, "Excited, happy, and calm." Sometimes I answer "anxious" or "frightened", but I'm starting to realize that this is not very common. It seems as if I'm feeling happy a lot of the time nowadays.

This reminds me of my three-year-old son. I sometimes ask him how he's feeling. Nearly every time his response is, "Happy."

I feel validated by that. It tells me that it's okay to feel happy most of the time. I don't need to feel guilty or unworthy. I used to, and pretty soon I wasn't feeling happy any more.


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